Bacon Envelopes: what every girl needs.

Day 3 on WW:

I read about these envelopes today that look like bacon. When you lick them to seal them, they taste like bacon. I think I’ll buy a pack and write myself letters. Double the fun. In fact, I want one of everything this place sells! I’ve always said that if bacon, cheese or chocolate can’t make it better, it’s not worth eating. Try to figure out how to make J&D my personal chefs…

Last night, after some major eye-batting that escalated into threatening on my part, I managed to convince my husband I would divorce him if he didn’t at least pretend to be interested in my blog. He surrendered and I handed him the laptop with my first entry pulled up. I left the room so he wouldn’t feel pressured, like I was staring over his shoulder. I hid in the bedroom, watching him read. Not one smile, no chuckles, he never looked up… I started to wonder if he had fallen asleep with his eyes open. They started to glaze over. I eventually gave up peering at him from around the corner and went to brush my teeth. He came in a few minutes later and offered me this one sentence: “What’s naked week?”

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I LOVE teas and recently bought a huge pack of dessert teas from I started having a cup about 9:30-10:00 a.m., when I get the mid-morning munchies at work. And I usually have one after lunch to warm up, because I get cold when I eat and it doesn’t help that the pharmacy I work at keeps the thermostat well below 65. I am day two into my “filler” teas, half way through my second cup for the day when I realize I have to count sugar. I say “crap” out loud in my silent office. Did the boss hear? That’s 4-ish more points for today. I am Southern. We love our sweet tea. I look into Splenda, the other sweetener that my workplace offers.

I usually use 5 packets of sugar in my tea. So I dump in 4 Splendas. WAY too much. I late read that Splenda is 600 times sweeter than sugar. Oh, really!?! I choke down the cup because I don’t want to waste it. All I can taste is non-sugar and I hate it.

This afternoon, I was in the kitchen, staring into the refrigerator when my husband walked in the door. I slam the door and shriek at him “I’ve been hungry for a total of 6 hours today!” I was finishing off another pickle. I make a mental note to buy up some shares of pickle stock, whichever one has that little pelican with the hat on it. Speaking of, what does a pelican have to do with pickles? Anyway, he suffered through a kiss with me and lovingly called me “pickle breath” the rest of the night. I told him to get used to it. I’ll be living off pickles and Crystal Light (0 points) for the next two weeks. I don’t get an overabundance of points like his does.

My hubby smirks and mentions he “has points to play with” as he heads into the kitchen about 8:30 pm, about the time I would have had my usual bowl of fruity pebbles. He indulges in a Country Time Lemonade (3 points) and a Skinny Cow Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Sandwich (another 3 points).

I drool. I pant. I cry. I loom like a vulture, pacing over my dying prey, just waiting for him to take that last breath so I can pounce. I keep my claws and beak in check and he manages to a little too leisurely enjoy both the lemonade and the ice cream in relative peace. He escapes my clutches unscathed… this time.

But on a good note, when I weighed this morning I had lost 2 pounds. I did notice the white skirt I wore today fits looser than it did last week. Of course, my slip had been showing all morning because of it. I felt material on my waist and just assumed in was my skirt. It wasn’t until I went to the restroom mid-morning and looked in the mirror that I made my discovery. But I did get to use the draw string on it that I have never used before.

Because of the sugar in my tea, those 4 unexpected points, I come in at 22 points today.

Lesson learned: Splenda, though not near as good as sugar, is ZERO points.

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