Bathtub reading material.

It is 9 pm and I am not even half way through last October’s edition of Real Simple. I have gotten this magazine for years. I think I am paid up for another 3. It used to be REALLY thick, now it is just moderately thick, but thick enough that I can’t read it all in one day, even if I cheat and read some the night before during “read in bed night”.

I am going in to work late in the morning, so I have a couple extra hours sleep coming to me tomorrow. All the more reason to stay up later tonight and take a much deserved bath while reading my magazine. Women in movies and on tv always read in the tub, soaking in luscious bubbles, surrounded my candles, drinking a glass of red wine. In real life, you use Avon bubbles, which smell nice but don’t foam a whole lot, the candles don’t produce enough light to read the magazine pages, and the red wine glass ends up dripping with water and bubbles and sometimes ends up slipping into the tub. Oops. Even if you can manage to keep your reading material out of the water, it is still bound to get covered in droplets of water and it is tiring to hold it up into the air out of the water. My magazine, aka, my latest drowning victim, is sitting next to me now, the bottom still drying out from a couple accidental dunks. And I wasn’t even drinking…

So today is part 1 of 2 of Real Simple, October 2009. I’ll finish it tomorrow.

First up: The National Confectioners Association predicted that we would spend about $2.225 BILLION dollars on Halloween candy last year. I would give you this year’s predicted stats, but that magazine is buried in my stack somewhere so you will have to be happy with 2009. Can you believe that? BILLIONS. Think of the good we could do with that! Man, I bet the government is itching to get a cut of that. I bet there will be a Halloween candy tax next year…

One of my favorite things about this mag is the paper sculptures. There are a few in each book. They are elaborate scenes, all made from colored paper. I really have to convince myself they aren’t real sometimes. Look at a few here.

I also like a column they have called “New uses for old things”. Here are some examples: Put marshmellows in your brown sugar to keep it from clumping. Use Vaseline to keep your nail polish lids from getting stuck. Instead of chopping up salad ingredients, but them all in a bowl and run a pizza cutter through them.

Things not to feed to your dog: Chocolate, Grapes and Raisins, Garlic, Onions, Xylitol (in gum), Alcohol (as if I would share), Raw yeast or dough, Macadamia nuts, and Avocados. All of these are likely to be consumed in my house daily by someone. Except for the raw dough. Gross. Who has time to bake, anyway?

It was a bit ironic that I chose this mag right now. It has several articles on subjects I have recently been pondering. How do I make compost? I know have three easy steps. Now, where to put it? Jordan’s clothing pile? I think it is composting already.

I also found myself thinking about frozen fries today. I wonder if there is a healthy one? How healthy are frozen veggies anyway? Well, in steps Real Simple Oct 2009 to save the day! A four page write up about how to pick the best frozen fruits, veggies, entrees and desserts. And for your curiosity, Alexia and Trader Joe’s fries are among the “healthiest”.

And guess what? You know those cute tees with the embellishments that EVERY store has now. Like little flowers, etc on one collar bone? Yeah, those were in last year. I have the proof in my year old magazine. Loft was selling a blue tee with ruffley flowers for $35.

Oh, and I LOVE this article called “Real Steals – for under $200”. If I had $200 dollars, I certainly wouldn’t spend it on a tweed jacket. I’d use it for other luxuries, like food and rent.

Just when I was thinking about cancelling my subscription because I just get depressed looking at the clothes I will never be able to afford and the super organized rooms I’ll never live up to, Real Simple swoops in and knocks me off my feet with a quote that hits close to home from one of the greatest comedies of all time:

“Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day.”

Anyone care to venture a guess? James – I’m counting on you…

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6 Responses to Bathtub reading material.

  1. Plastic books for the tub…might be a money making idea.

  2. myfullcup says:

    I have never mastered the art of reading in the tub. My books are always dropped.

  3. Lisa says:

    Umm….I know what the quote is from. Yea me! 🙂 In fact, I have that movie! But it’s on VHS…. 0_o

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