I doubt any of you even knew by blog was missing from your inbox (or my site) for the last two days, except my mom, cause she sees all. Eyes in the back of her head. You grow them when you become a mom. Now, you are probably thinking, “oh yeah… it does seem like it’s been a few days since twoweektrial junked up my inbox.” That’s okay, I forgive you. I have been internet-less. But after yet another irate phone call to “the most reliable internet and phone provider” (yes, we had no phone either), my darling husband managed to get it working again.
I’d like to tell you I was a good little blogger and worked on my “trial” the past two days, saving up for one massive 3 day kitchen gadget extravaganza blog, but… I didn’t. I felt a little bad for taking it easy, but with the lack of accountability, anyone would stray! Just ask people that go to Weight Watchers or AA meetings. I fell off the bandwagon as soon as my internet connection dropped. I was productive the last two days though. I edited about 25 pages of my book, watched an episode and a half of Dirty Jobs (Did you see the cool BearCat, Tracie? So cute!), and cleaned the bathroom.
So tonight I am back with not one, not two but 3 1/2 kitchen gadgets!Calm down! I know itis super exciting but please try to remain seated. And please, save your applause until the end.
First up, a mini grater. I’m not really sure what to do with this. I’m not even sure where this came from, but I know I have had it at least 10 years. It’s about time to use it. Aren’t there about 3 sides on your grater that you never use? Me too. I don’t know what to do with them. It is the same with this mini one: I have no earthly idea what the sides are for. I tried grating some orange zest (see the juicer a few paragraphs down) but just made a mess. It got stuck up in the crevices and I had to beat, prod and scrape it out. Not worth it. One side has two little slots…what to do…give up. In a moment of clarity, I decide to grate some garlic into the green beans I am cooking. It works okay, but since garlic is so small and hard to hold on to, in the end I start scraping my fingers. Hope you don’t mind a little flesh in your veggies, Honey!
Next: My steamer (which I use all the time) used as a colander. I count this a 1/2 a gadget, since I use it frequently. My wire colander seemed like a really good idea (it fits on the sink so you can have both hands free), but it turns out the food bits get wedged in there and they are IMPOSSIBLE to get out. Just ask my dishwasher, Jordan. I have another lime green plastic colander with a big crack in it. Whoops. I blame it on Riley. I could still use it, but the holes are too big for Orzo pasta. So… in another moment of genius, as I have many, I grabbed the steamer basket (I think that’s what it is. Come to think of it, I’m not sure what it is.) and set it in the sink. It was a near disaster…The strainer can be a bowl-shape, if sturdied by a pot, or lay flat. One wrong move would have sent the pasta down the drain. I managed to pull it off, but ended up with a burnt finger. That metal gets hot when you pour boiling water in it. Imagine that.
Gadget three: An orange object labeled “World’s Smallest Juice Extractor”. I had my doubts. Anyone would. I didn’t even know how to work it. Like the grater, it is beyond my comprehension. So I did what anyone would do: I googled it. (Don’t you just love that “google” is a verb!?) I found one for sale on ebay for $10. It was no help. I don’t think the seller knew how to use it either.I found another for $1. Like anyone is going to by the $10 NOW. It had these instructions: “Insert serrated end into the rind of the fruit. Turn and squeeze. Drink directly from the fruit of collect juice in a container.” It seemed easy enough but I was skeptical. But it actually worked. If my orange hadn’t split down one side it would have been better. I screwed the juiced into the orange, squeezed it and the juice flowed, cleanly and without spilling, through the spout. Pretty cool! But I didn’t realize how little juice an orange actually holds. Like, a tablespoon. I have a new respect for “fresh squeezed” OJ. WHAT a pain.
My last item is wine glasses. We have wine every once in a while, but I always use my gorgeous, hand painted goblets. They are covered in delicate grape and ivy designs. My best friend Erin bought a set of four of them for me as a wedding present. Now I only have 3. My husband is to blame. I warned him they were fragile, but that didn’t stop him from putting them in the sink and stacking heavy plates on top of them. Craaack. I was a little broken hearted. I still give him hell about it. All of that to say, that when we DO have wine, we use the fancy glasses, and never the ones in the pic below. So tonight, we will be using them…
I bought a lovely peach wine in Tennessee this past April. It has been chilling in the frig for months. It’s time. Maybe I’ll add my tiny amount of OJ to it, sort of a redneck mimosa.
Wish me luck. Hopefully I will go in with two glasses and come out with glasses and no one will get cut from broken glass.