When the alarm went of at 5:45 this morning, a growl ripped through my teeth, ala zombie. I turned it off and laid back down, part of me hoping I’d “accidentally” fall back asleep and the other part of me knowing that if I did, I would sleep well past the time I need to be at work, since I hit Off and not Snooze.
Jordan had accidentally left the window open in the living room last night, and the weather had guessed “the low 50’s” for our overnight temps, so I knew it would be chilly out. I got dressed in warm pajama pants, a sweatshirt over a t-shirt, two layers of thick socks, a scarf, gloves and a toboggan. I grabbed my yoga mat and Riley’t “time-out” kitchen timer and headed outside. Why outside, you ask? It just seems like meditating should be done outside, all that “communing and being one with nature” stuff.
I set the timer for ten minutes and sat down cross-legged on my yoga mat in the middle of the yard. I looked up. The stars were shining. I caught a HUGE shooting star out of the corner of my eye. I saw Mars. I heard night creatures. I wondered what the hell I was doing freezing, sitting in the middle of my yard in the dark for. Oh, yeah, meditating.
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on nothing, which is much harder than you would think. My mind was full of thoughts: Dang! It’s cold! I wonder how much longer is on my timer. I wonder if it will scare me when it goes off. I wonder if it will rain today. I wonder what kind of bird that is chirping. I wonder if my grandmother is peeking out of her back window wondering what I am doing, freezing on a yoga mat in the middle of the yard at 5:45 in the morning. Dang, it’s cold! (My boss told me later it was 37 degrees when he drove into work this morning. I was outside “meditating almost two hours before that.)
I took my toboggan off because I thought it would make my hair too flat. I tried sitting on my hands to warm them, instead of laying them on my knees in proper meditation position. When my teeth started to chatter, I decided to finish up what had already started off as a stellar session in the living room.
My timer had 6 minutes left. I had only lasted 4 minutes outside.
I ran back up to the house, stepping in a low spot still wet from the rain the day before. The cold water immediately soaked through my thick socks. I didn’t wear shoes because I didn’t think they would be comfortable sitting cross-legged in. Why I didn’t wear shoes to my location and then take them off, I’ll never know.
I briefly put my mat on the carpet, then realized it was wet on the bottom so I hung it up, which later in the morning prompted the question from my husband, “yoga?” to which I answered “sorta, not really.”
The house was quiet. I sat back down and closed my eyes. Then I heard Jordan snoring up a storm in the bedroom, the water pumping in the fish tank, the clinking of the fan pull in Riley’s room. I felt my dog Brutus’s eyes boring a hole into my head, thinking “what ARE you doing”, as he lay half asleep spread out on the couch. My cat Gollum came over and sat in my lap. I looked at the clock. 6:04. I looked at the clock again. 6:04. I gave it up.
I turned on the light in the bedroom, flipped on Kidd Kraddick on the overhead radio and very gingerly shouted “wake up!” to my still snoozing husband. How he can sleep with all that noise, I don’t know.