I’ve been pulled over for speeding well over 15 times.

My meditation two week trial was officially over yesterday. I finished it off underwater in the bathtub last night. Why? Because I am at Big Cedar Resort in Branson,Missouriand I have a whirlpool bathtub in my room. I put Riley to bed, filled that sucker up and turned up the bubbles. It was loud, but relaxing after driving in the car all day. I eventually turned off the jets and sunk low in the tub. I love laying in water because it blocks out all noises, and I feel a little like DareDevil. Yeah, you remember… that movie with Ben Affleck… well, never mind.

But today, I want to write about what a terrible driver I am. People have told me that I am for years, but I have never believed them. But if you can’t trust your mother, father, sister, husband, co-workers, friends and an array of law enforcement officials, who can you trust?

We turned on the GPS immediately. Other than turning out of the driveway, I had no idea where to go. And I only knew which way to turn out of the driveway because we live on a dead end street. The GPS wanted to go left, and my mom thought we should go right. So we had to turn around and go back to get her atlas.

We left my house about9:15in the morning and got here about6:30at night. It is a 7 ½ hour drive, but we stopped for lunch, to get gas, and went to a natural bridge inArkansas. We stopped at Wal-Mart, as any good Southerner should do, and got groceries and then arrived at the resort in time to cook supper. Throughout this looooong trip, I missed my turn about five times, including once where I turned around 3, count them, THREE times to get to the right exit, swerved off of the road onto those bumpy ridges countless times (much to the delight of Riley) and almost ran into the back of lots of cars, including a motorcycle Riley couldn’t stop waving at.

My problem? I don’t pay attention to the GPS because she is constantly yelling at me, I don’t have cruise to I keep getting up to 80mph without realizing it, I don’t like to use my brake when I have a good coast going which is always in the mountains, and I have to stop every five minutes and get my toddler and drink or a snack or the toy car he just threw over my head. Another problem? I keep getting toy cars thrown at my head.

Riley was getting cranky towards the end of the trip, so my mom put one of his trucks on the dash. When we turned around a curve, it would roll and he thought it was funny. He would start whining again when it quit rolling, so I was jerking the car all over the road trying to make it roll around up there. I wouldn’t have been once bit surprise if I had seen the flashing blue lights (no red up here, just bright blue) of a cop car in my review mirror. Except, I wouldn’t have seen them in my rear view mirror because it was pointed in the back seat at Riley, so I could make sure he wasn’t dumping trail mix out in the car seat or eating his book again.

But we finally made it, every one in one piece. Today we slept in (thank you Riley), I woke up to whispers of “hi, mama” and snuggles with kisses, we walked around the resort, and went paddleboating. This afternoon, we are going to Table Rock Dam, College of the Ozarks andPebbleBeach. But no musicals with dancing bears.

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One Response to I’ve been pulled over for speeding well over 15 times.

  1. Larry says:

    Wow! Reading about your driving scares me! Glad I wasn’t in the car. Glad you made it safe though.

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