The Perfect Storm

Tonight I got a run down of how Dancing with the Stars works, via my Grandmother who can’t hear the TV without the volume being set to “stun”.

“They don’t vote for who they want to keep on. They voted to keep that one guy one and I couldn’t believe it! So they voted that one girl off and I can’t believe, your mom either, can’t believe they kept that one lady on… the fat blonde one… and that Chet, Chat,  – “Chaz, Grandma?” – yeah that Chaz on there. And his mom was on there crying and carrying on and such and he doesn’t even move he just stands there and twirls that girl around. I don’t know why he’s still on there.”

What? That didn’t make any sense to you? That’s weird…cause I totally got it.

I also got offers for Halloween costume components that I already own.

I said – “I’m going to be _____ for Halloween so I am going to have to sew…”

“well, let me think I’ve got a white shirt maybe…”

“I’ve already got the material, I just…”

“you can borrow that. We might can pin it or… ”

I change the subject. “Riley is going to be _____, so I got some red ribbon…”

“Oh, well I’ve got red ribbon. It might be old though and its probably too thin…but you can have it and then we can…”

I just stopped talking. I can’t even tell her what we are going to be before she starts offering me stuff that I’ve already got and that will never work anyway. It’s always like that. She just keeps talking over you. And she’s loud. And my mom is the same way (sorry, Mama, but it happens) though not quite as bad yet, as well as my Uncle. My aunt has learned to be loud to be heard over the rest. At Christmas us Grandkids just sit around and try to keep our eardrums from bleeding.

Jordan calls it The Perfect Storm, when all of my loud relatives are in the house together. Those 4 can out talk the 50 relative that will be at his house.

Yup, The Perfect Storm.

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